A Hero is a Hero

What I'm about to write may be perceived as blown out of proportion.  Even vets might think I'm overreacting.  Oh well.  I've had these thoughts for quite some time, and what better time to unleash them than on Veteran's Day - a day meant to honor all of our servicemen and women.  No classifications.  They are all our heroes.

What really bothers me are the jabs, jokes, and put downs targeting other branches of the military... BY OTHER MILITARY!  Did I miss the government memo that ranks the branches in order of importance or cool factor?  Why does one branch think they should communicate a superiority over any other? about tasks, workouts, assignments, boot camp level of difficulty...  My thought is, until you have crossed over and served in more than one branch, you have no right to make negative judgments about any other. 

Where is the brotherhood/camaraderie/support for one other?  Do you not make the same sacrifices?  Are you not all in front of your families and friends and millions of strangers defending your homeland?  I know I'm not a dude, so may be this is just (typically guys) messing with each other and "friendly banter" particularly between the Marines and the Navy.  After all, I know in a way this is how it works with cops and firemen too.  When the worst happens, one serviceman's life is never worth more than another's.  So I don't understand why there can't be a tighter sense of community, affirmation, and honor between all branches of the armed forces on days other than Veteran's and Memorial Day.  A hero is a hero.  

And it may be that there are not many (or any!) others who have picked up on this or get frustrated about it like I do.  But that's the beauty of blogging.  I get to talk about what I want to talk about.  ; )  So that's it.  Thank you, ALL ARMED FORCES, for the work that you do.  You are all important, valuable, selfless, and we are blessed by your willingness to serve.

Snail Mail

Sometimes the littlest things bless my heart. Like getting a piece of snail mail from a dear old friend. And even more so when it says stuff like this - exactly what my own heart says! Facebook is nice to keep in touch, and I'm definitely grateful for how it quickly connects us.  But let us not forget the simple joy of receiving old fashioned mail!  Send one today and bless a friend's day!

Latest Twinisms

Here are a few noteworthy comments the twins have made on our commuting drives this week:

• We have a CD that we still listen to with Classical Conversations songs and memorization stats.  An historical point on the timeline song has the word "conquistadors."  Hayden chuckles and says mockingly, 

              "She said 'kiss the doors.' hahaha..."

•  We have also been talking about a Kindergarten rule regarding flipping cards for bad behaviors.  The boys have informed me that if a student reaches the point of flipping a black card, he or she must visit the principal's office.  I understand that his authority is above Mrs. Nass' and this is perceived as a very serious consequence, but I wanted to explain to them that Mr. Johnson isn't a bad guy.  I told them that their principal was such a kind man and not to be nervous or scared around him just because he has to talk to the kids who are sometimes in trouble - and also not to be scared of the office itself!  I assured them that there are times when it's a great privilege to go visit Mr. Johnson in his office, and it doesn't only mean they are in trouble.  (Is this lecture coming from experience!?)  So out of nowhere in true Noah fashion, his mind halts the conversation exactly where he wants it.  "Mom!! It sounds like Mr. Johnson is a PRINCE!" It took me a second to follow his thinking, but I got there.  Principal=prince.  I later told Mr. Johnson that he could milk this one!  Expect the royal treatment!  ;)   

•   And again one concerning Mr. Johnson and the CC Presidents song...  Johnson's name comes up in the list and Noah has an epiphany.  Again.  "Mom!! Johnson was a president!"  Confused by the obvious statement, I replied simply, "Mmm hmm.  Yep, that's what it said."  He persisted with spirit, "No, Mr. JOHNSON used to be a PRESIDENT!"  Oh man.  I think you are hilarious, kid.  I love how your mind works.

Steps and Stops

A long time ago, I heard something in a Cornerstone sermon that really made an impression on me.  It was a simple statement, but it has become a favorite point for me to reflect on.  With some recent happenings and conversations in our family, it is once again echoing in my mind.

"God orders our steps and our stops."

Imagine you are making decisions pointing you in a certain direction.  Your heart is in it, your reasons make sense, and you feel supported, even led to go a specific path.  You feel like your decisions are lined up with where God wants you.  And then you start living out those decisions.  And then you realize that something is wrong.  

This is where I (or we) found ourselves soon after starting homeschool.  We love the concept of homeschooling.  We especially love the specific learning method that we had adopted using Classical Conversations.  But I figured out quickly that just because you love something, it doesn't mean it's the right fit for your family.

The biggest catalyst to this realization was the extra attention that our cutie Levi needs.  Not trying to make him the scapegoat... It just is what it is.  I was pouring out so much of my time and energy on prepping, schooling, planning, etc. and, as painful as it is to admit, not giving Levi the special attention that he would benefit from.  Yes, homeschooling boasts the opportunity to be flexible.  And believe me, we were flexible.  However, with so many outside appointments and therapy sessions and just - life, much of our "usable productive time" was sabotaged.  I doubt anyone would expect the boys to school in the afternoon - not gonna happen.  When we were making alternative schooling decisions, I shared with a friend that I feared that people would hastily judge me for giving up without really trying it or giving it a fair shot.  Her response was so comforting.  She said, "You had basically been planning to homeschool for the last 3 or 4 years.  You plan, research, get excited for opportunities... But all that time you had no idea that one or any of your kids would have special needs and what that might entail.  No one can judge you for having to make other plans based on what the needs of your family are."  I am not saying that homeschooling with special needs kids is impossible or wrong.  Our very personable God works with each family on a case by case basis, and I am only sharing our case. ;)

There were other things that went into the decision not to homeschool, but I don't need to write a novel here.  All of them can be summed up with: It was evident that God had a different plan for us.  A great verse kept coming to mind: Proverbs 16:9 - A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.  As curious as I am, I'll probably never know for sure if God intended us to dive into homeschooling to experience how it would be before turning our heads toward a different direction.  As another friend encouraged us, "You never know what will work for you until you actually try it, so I commend you for what you did!"  But I feel like God very likely could have ordered our steps to homeschool so I could empathize, have a broader understanding, and to kill the "what if I had...?" questions that would resonate in my head for years to come.  Now I know because we tried.  And then He ordered our stop.  And it takes courage to stop and figure out where He does want us if homeschooling is not His best plan.

I say courage because a private education had thus far been kept off the table - but only due to fear.  I would have to rely a little too much for God to provide the tuition, so I didn't honestly consider both options He had put before us way back when.  (And no, I don't want to get into the public vs. private debate.  Everyone has their own convictions and opinions.  Mine are probably different than yours.)  Taking homeschool out of the equation, we have the opportunity to rely on God's provision even more than we already do.  I may be a little nervous, but I am excited for our stewardship skills to be stretched and strengthened.  (The Gillespies are brushing up on our good ol' Dave Ramsey notes! ;) )

All of this stirred in my spirit, by the way, as we were nearing our mission trip to the Philippines.  I felt so distracted because I couldn't stop thinking about this even though I knew it would be wiser to only prepare for Cebu.  Well, the subject erupted out of me to a few people anyway, but Scott tried to hold off on the big conversation.  So when did we actually get to talk about all this?  Opportunities for prayer and counsel about this subject had unexpectedly popped up while hanging out with the Shields, so Scott started to hear a little more during the trip.  On the last night in Cebu, we were finally able to delve deep into our expectations, emotions, realizations, and started praying for a joint sense of peace.  Thank the Lord, that came fast.  For that reason, jet lag was an absolute blessing.  What do you do in the middle of the night when you can't sleep?  Pray and talk about it.  

As more jet-lagged, prayerful nights passed, we had both been given two points of peace: stop homeschooling, and look into Ygnacio Valley Christian School after considering a few other schools.  Following a meeting with the principal and the beloved Kindergarten teacher, Noah and Hayden being interviewed, and filling out paperwork, we were able to transfer just in time to begin the 2nd quarter!

Another point that I don't need to exhaust is why we chose YVCS over other schools.  But as many of you know, my connection runs deep.  Not only was I a student there for 9 years, but I returned to teach there as well.  The philosophy of the school matches what Scott and I are looking for.  That doesn't come along easily, and it makes the trek to school completely worth it.  And now that we have taken the plunge, we have no doubts or hesitations.  It feels like coming home.  It feels like God is ordering our steps again, and we are heading in the right direction after the homeschooling detour. 

Now that we commute to Concord, all the kids rise and shine by 6:45 and are out the door by 7:30.  A little over a week in and we haven't been tardy yet!  Some days I have to go back and forth a couple of times.  Other days I camp out at my parents' house and spend some extra time playing with the younger three or taking Levi to his therapies.  For now, Levi's preschool is on hold.  I am stretching him (my physical therapy homework), and we are continuing to help him learn and mature his skills through play.  The driving doesn't bother me yet; it gives me lots of time to think, talk to the kids, sing our favorite Presidents and timeline songs, and worship with K-Love.

Feel free to ask the boys how they like their new school and teacher, Mrs. Nass!  They are loving it.  And so am I.  Any sadness I might have felt for not getting to do all of the homeschool activities we had hoped to is completely offset by knowing that our kids are already loved by exceptional people who are sharing their amazing talents and gifts.  Whatever good intentions we had can now graduate to a great reality with these teachers' help and presence in our kids' lives!   

Although this was a sharp turn that we never would have foreseen, we are so grateful for what we've learned, our growth in unity, and God's blessings on this path.  And now many of you are thinking, "Goodness, why are you so wordy about it?  So what?!  Now they go to a school..."  Haha.  Well,  this post is more for me anyway.  There are crazy social pressures to school all kinds of ways.  I guess I wanted to put it all out there: that our decision is a big deal to us, that we didn't just hastily or selfishly change our minds, that we aren't choosing to go along with something that isn't right for us, and we aren't embarrassed about any of this either.  I also want to publicly say that you will have my support and understanding in whichever way you choose to school your kids if you are pursuing God's desires and steps for your own family!  

Wow, that was a longer post than I thought it would be!  Thanks for taking the time to read the back story to our big change of plans! ;)    

Thanksgiving Cliff Notes

People are beginning their "20-something days of Thanksgiving" on facebook now.  It isn't likely that I would keep up with it, but that doesn't mean I don't think about it constantly - all throughout the year, actually.  So I'll just mention some of my favorites:

Gosh, I love my husband.  I have a deep, deep love for him that I never thought possible, and I haven't seen anywhere else.  And I have seen some major love stories lived out, but ours is my favorite. :)  I am thankful for how much trust he has in me - in my decision-making, how the Lord moves me, in how I am with the kids, using my talents, carrying out all of my responsibilities... He doesn't micromanage me.  He helps me, motivates me, serves me, is a real team player, and CHERISHES me.  Beyond salvation, he is my favorite gift in this world!!  I am thankful for our marriage that we have been blessed with and striven towards together, even before it began.

I am thankful for our children.  It sounds cliche, but yes, they make me literally pull my hair out.  They rub me the wrong way, don't listen, whine, and are a bunch of - well, immature kids.  Then there are the moments that stun my heart.  Moments when I look at him or her and see a completely joyful spirit or the simplicity of life, love, and trust.  Moments during a time of prayer, a conversation, when they sing along to worship music in the car, or ask me questions about heaven and Jesus, when they dance together, chase each other with giant giggles, or tell me that they love me "super much" and that I'm the best mommy in the whole world.  When these once-upon-a-time babies who were completely dependent on me but now are developing their own styles, desires, talents, and personalities... the colossal reality of my love for them and recognizing what blessings they are to me hits me right between the eyes.  Without them, I would not have the (still very lacking) understanding and empathy of God's love for His children.  I have grown in grace and forgiveness - for myself especially - because I have the honor of raising up my little five-person army for the Lord.  I am thankful for the trials, laughs, and joys we share as a family.  I am also thankful for their adorable faces being assigned to me. ;)

I am thankful for our health, home, comfort, freedoms, fun experiences, church, having choices, faithful friends, and family.  I am thankful for a car, plenty of clothes, luxuries like a dishwasher, cell phone, washing machine and dryer.  I am thankful for a microwave, oven, refrigerator, a stocked pantry.  I'm thankful for medicine, ear plugs, a toothbrush, cold water, and soap.  You think I'm getting too nit-picky or silly?  I just went to a third world country!  I only just got started.  I know I don't always have a spirit of gratitude, but it's something I try to practice.  I could expound on each of these listed, but I do need some sleep.  So I will head to bed soon in my very comfortable, warm bed that I'm extremely thankful for as well!

God, my favorite "thing" to thank You for is choosing and using me.  I'm just me.  But You see what I'm going to be - what You are making me into - and You choose to use me how I am.  Used to bless others, to share who You are, to be Your partner in work...  I am dumbfounded.  There is no greater honor.  I get to have an intimate partnership with the Creator of the Universe, and He really likes talking with me too!

My life verse is I Thess. 5:16-18.  I really do love Thanksgiving - giving thanks; I promise.  ;)  

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Child Training Bible

In my last post I made a reference to our new Child Training Bible, and several friends have asked about it.  Here's a little explanation.

I can't take the credit!  A friend in our church's Moms Together group stumbled upon this product and posted it on our facebook page.  Another mom was going to order and discovered that a group discount applied if you got enough kits.  I think the cost was around $7.00!  So I jumped on the bandwagon.

In addition to the kit, you need a Bible - obviously.  Scott and I made a date of picking one out at Barnes & Noble.  We struggled with choosing what translation we wanted and other options Bibles have now.  We've been really happy so far with the English Standard Version, large print (and it just happened to be the perfect size!).  It was a little pricey, but we saw this as an investment as it has become our special family Bible.  You also need the highlighters and post its that they recommend.  

Then you sit down with all of your supplies and for several evenings (in my experience) look up verse after verse and highlight and tab them.  It takes AWHILE.  But once you're done - WOW!  Such a fabulous resource. 

The idea is that popular heart issues are categorized with corresponding verses that address each.  Let's say a child is struggling with complaining.  You have several references tabbed and highlighted that are specific to the tongue, thankfulness, etc.  All of these topics (some others include tattling, anger, not listening, defiance, pride...) that you are likely to deal with, are broken down so you can look things up with ease.  Is this tool absolutely necessary?  No.  I have a book about training your kids through Scripture.  It basically does the same thing, listing out topics and verses that address each.  But that book is an outside source.  I would constantly have to refer to that book.  And it lists out the Scripture which is nice, but then my kids don't see us literally looking in the Bible for wisdom and answers.  With this kit, they do.  And that's what I love about it.

If you're like me and want the Bible to be your go-to tool for parenting but you don't have the memory skills to think of many applicable verses on the spot, this makes it easy.  I highly recommend it!  If you are interested, you can read more about it and order your own from the website in the picture. :D

(Cornerstone ladies, if any of you read this and have also done the CTB, you should comment about your thoughts/experience with it!)

He misses his dad... Sorry babe

One of our sons has really been acting up the last couple of weeks - offering a very "fresh" unwelcome attitude and argumentative tone. He's made some pretty yuck choices.  Sneaking candy isn't a huge offense if you think of it as a kid being a kid, but I like to consider things on a bigger scale.  I want to identify the heart issue, not just drive myself mad by dealing with behaviors.  Why would you just brush off the dandruff when you could cure the problem at the scalp root? ;)

Anyway, his time with Daddy has been very limited for the past two weeks due to a schedule change, overtime, and a church men's retreat. At one point I texted Scott something totally under control and completely valid. ;)

That was his only response. "He misses his dad... Sorry babe."  I knew it was true, so why did it surprise me that he was acting out?  Maybe because his twin wasn't?  But we are all different and act out differently and at different times.  For this particular kid, this totally was the driving force.

So going at it alone since Scott was away for the weekend, I needed to stop brushing off the dandruff.  His behaviors pointed me to Bible verses about disobedience, lying, selfishness and stealing since the candy belonged to his brother, and complaining.  I pulled him away and read through these with him and had a wonderful, productive discipline time. ((USING OUR NEW, AWESOME CHILD TRAINING BIBLE!))  He needed extra counsel.  Extra attention.  And as I sat and talked with him, I found myself sobbing.  I had asked him who had been hurt by his choices.  The list was longer than he expected.   I was mourning his sin more than he was, but I'm thinking that's a pretty good model for him.  They don't seem to grasp the severity of sin at that level - I know I didn't.  So why not show him how it affects his parents?  God is our Daddy, Who hurts even more than Scott and I when our kids disobey.  But they won't be able to see God cry over our sinful hearts and actions. But we know He mourns too.

To wrap up I wanted to point out the wonderful connection that fathers, in particular, have with their children.  No wonder the brokenness in society stems from broken, fatherless homes.  One of ours was acting up in no time - on a minor scale compared to the boys in juvenile hall, but still!  Boys need their Daddy!!!  They need that healthy fear, respect, and shepherding from a man who deeply loves them.  Scott can talk to the boys in a certain way that makes them think differently and behave differently because their heart is changing.  What a great partnership a mom/dad team is!  And it brings me back, once again, to how we relate to God, our Daddy.  If we are absent from Him, we act out in no time!  But by staying close and learning how to navigate through life under His loving protection, counsel, and care, we stay upright and walk with Him in His safety.  We will mess up still (and so will our kids), but He is right there to pick us up and brush us off.

What a good Daddy He is; and my wonderful husband is too!!  Since Scott is back and intentionally spending extra time with the kids, I have faith that some heart issues will be ironed out once again.  Fathers: spend TIME with your kids.  They need you more than you think.