Monday, June 11, 2012

You Know That...


You know that your PMS is under control when your husband asks, "Did you even have a period this month?" Niiiice. :)

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Sensitive Girls

I was raised being told what a sensitive creature I was.  I cried easily, got my feelings hurt with a wrong look, and broke down in repentance with the littlest stern look... God made me that way, I was frequently reminded.  But I don't remember hearing how it was anything positive.

Fast forward to present day.  My one and only daughter is cut from the same cloth.  This past week, her sin of lying has had a major flare up.  She has been dishonest about the smallest, most minuscule details or topics.  Frustrating.  We were talking through one of these incidents this morning.  I wasn't loud or mad.  I just spoke to her as a hurting parent who wants her to be honest and trustworthy, reaping the blessings of those traits.  Once I reminded her of Whom she was really sinning against, her lips and cheeks began quivering and twitching.  The tears welled up and started streaming.   I started to pray that whenever she was tempted to lie, the Spirit would convict her heart before any words came out of her mouth.  And before I knew it, I was crying right there with her.

I can't explain how much I have grown in spiritual maturity since becoming a mom.  There is an empathy for God as a parent that I couldn't grasp before having my own kids.  When I explain how sin affects Jesus, how and why He longs for obedience, and what His desire is for us, I think of myself as a little girl who is in the same boat as Gracie a lot of times.  I still hurt Him.  On an earthly level, knowing fully how that feels as a parent, I am crushed and convicted that I haven't "learned my lesson yet."

This enlightenment seems to happen a lot with my Graciegirl.  May be when two sensitive girls get together, tears must be present?!  But I'm not complaining.  These are some of the most precious moments we share together.  Sharing our hearts, praying for a righteous spirit, intimate tears, declaring our crazy love for each other.  I am so thankful that we are both sensitive - to the sin in our lives, to the conviction given by loved ones, and to each other.  I'm still learning about how a sensitive spirit is a gift, but at least I'm starting to see it as such with my beloved baby girl.

To end our session, I told her I was going to turn on the radio and asked if she wanted to dance.  I thought she was going to twirl around like she does in a new, hand-me-down leotard.  I pushed on, started to spin for a second before going on to something else, but she grabbed my hand and got in front of me.  The silent request to be picked up...  So I held her in my arms and spun around the room as I prayed the words being sung, and stroked and kissed her hair.  It was such a God thing that this particular song was on.  I know the lyrics are meant to be about Jesus, but I, too, will carry her every day she'll let me.

Carry Me To The Cross - by Kutless
When the path is daunting 
And every step exhausting 
I'm not alone, I'm not alone, no, no

I feel You draw me closer 
All these burdens on my shoulder 
I'm not alone, I'm not alone 
You pull me from this place 

(Chorus)
Hallelujah!
You carry me every day 
You carry me all the way 
Hallelujah!
You carry me to the 
You carry me to the cross 

How Your love has moved me
To the foot of all Your glory 
I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone 

Chorus 

All of these cities you have built 
And every cathedral you have filled 
To all of creation you gave life with your hands 
And with those hands you comfort me 
You lift me up from my knees 
And carry me 
You carry me 

Chorus

The cross 
You carry me to the 
You carry me to the cross