Speechless

How do you document the speechless moments in your life?  I guess I'll just paint a picture and hope that what my heart was feeling will jump out of the page to communicate for me.

This morning, the fire was blazing, I was baking cranberry-orange muffins with my favorite worship station playing through the T.V.  Carter was kickin it in his little walker, stand and play thing, happy as a clam, Darth Vader (Hayden), Luke Skywalker/Yoda (Noah), and Cinderella (Gracie), were dancing around in circles, spinning and singing along when they knew the words.  Levi was moving from scene to scene, enjoying each diversion. 

I was home with them in a warm, clean house.  I stopped to give God thanks that I did not have to beg on a street corner or shiver with my children in the cold or scavenge trash cans for food to give to them.  We live in such luxury, such comfort.  I have the "burden" of piles of laundry (think: we have ample clothes to keep us warm and dry).  I have the "chore" of washing and making up all the bedsheets (think: we all have comfy beds off the damp floor in which to get good rest each night).  I have the "tiresome trip" to Costco to stock up on, what we think are, basics (think: we have so many options, a stocked pantry, and fridges, and freezers - full of foods that we get to CHOOSE).   It's all in our perspective, isn't it?  I don't want my children to think this is normal.  I don't want them to take this comfort, these blessings, for granted.  I want them to want to share.  I want them to see what "normal" is for themselves.

In that moment, I was speechless.  I ask myself (or God rather) over and over again: "Who am I that You chose to bless me so greatly?" Luke 16:10 says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much..." I doubt my "trustworthiness."  But I can't help but wonder...  I am just continually struck by God's favor on me.

I know, God, that You are the reason I have all that I do, and I pray that I will prove myself faithful in your eyes.  Give us direction and lead us in conversations and in training our children about the needs of others, those hurting close to us and on the other side of the world.  Lord, when our kids think of generosity, love, and grace towards others, may they think of us, their parents, as models of Jesus.  This is one of my greatest desires!  This is the me I want to be...