One of our sons has really been acting up the last couple of weeks - offering a very "fresh" unwelcome attitude and argumentative tone. He's made some pretty yuck choices. Sneaking candy isn't a huge offense if you think of it as a kid being a kid, but I like to consider things on a bigger scale. I want to identify the heart issue, not just drive myself mad by dealing with behaviors. Why would you just brush off the dandruff when you could cure the problem at the scalp root? ;)
Anyway, his time with Daddy has been very limited for the past two weeks due to a schedule change, overtime, and a church men's retreat. At one point I texted Scott something totally under control and completely valid. ;)
So going at it alone since Scott was away for the weekend, I needed to stop brushing off the dandruff. His behaviors pointed me to Bible verses about disobedience, lying, selfishness and stealing since the candy belonged to his brother, and complaining. I pulled him away and read through these with him and had a wonderful, productive discipline time. ((USING OUR NEW, AWESOME CHILD TRAINING BIBLE!)) He needed extra counsel. Extra attention. And as I sat and talked with him, I found myself sobbing. I had asked him who had been hurt by his choices. The list was longer than he expected. I was mourning his sin more than he was, but I'm thinking that's a pretty good model for him. They don't seem to grasp the severity of sin at that level - I know I didn't. So why not show him how it affects his parents? God is our Daddy, Who hurts even more than Scott and I when our kids disobey. But they won't be able to see God cry over our sinful hearts and actions. But we know He mourns too.
To wrap up I wanted to point out the wonderful connection that fathers, in particular, have with their children. No wonder the brokenness in society stems from broken, fatherless homes. One of ours was acting up in no time - on a minor scale compared to the boys in juvenile hall, but still! Boys need their Daddy!!! They need that healthy fear, respect, and shepherding from a man who deeply loves them. Scott can talk to the boys in a certain way that makes them think differently and behave differently because their heart is changing. What a great partnership a mom/dad team is! And it brings me back, once again, to how we relate to God, our Daddy. If we are absent from Him, we act out in no time! But by staying close and learning how to navigate through life under His loving protection, counsel, and care, we stay upright and walk with Him in His safety. We will mess up still (and so will our kids), but He is right there to pick us up and brush us off.
What a good Daddy He is; and my wonderful husband is too!! Since Scott is back and intentionally spending extra time with the kids, I have faith that some heart issues will be ironed out once again. Fathers: spend TIME with your kids. They need you more than you think.
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