I just now made an impulsive decision. I feel the Lord is telling me something, and I'm going to commit to it without hesitating.
Facebook.
Some love it. Some hate it. I'm on the love side, but I've crept over to the "UGH!" side more and more. It's not about the ads, the vintage postcards that flood my feed, the amount of time I spend on it, or the like and share pictures. It's about the two lives people try to lead. The one on facebook and the one for real.
I try to be a healthy balance of authenticity and vulnerability along with appropriate discretion. I'm not that afraid to share about my bad days, faults, hair-pulling moments, and the frequent exercise of apologizing to my kids. But then of course, I'm not going to share details that aren't the vast majority's business either. And I'm not expecting anyone else to. I get that people want to share more good than bad, the happy times over "Man, my marriage is really difficult right now!" or whatever the big struggles are. But I do appreciate showing an honest picture of yourself and family, something missing from so many facebook pages it seems. (Please note that I did say try. I'm not claiming perfection or doing the kettle/black thing here. I'm sure I annoy plenty of people with my posts, and many might think I do exactly the thing that I'm bugged by. It's probably inevitable.)
For awhile, it was just an annoyance. (People call it Bragbook for a reason, I know.) But now, it's become a heart issue for me. The truth is, people getting praise and compliments for the life they show us when I see a different one offline, has officially "gotten to me." It may be a form of jealousy, may be it's envy for the accolades, may be disappointment that they are squandering the chance to be an authentic, leaning-on-Jesus light who doesn't pretend. Some of you might be thinking, "Who cares? If you don't like what someone is posting, you can unfriend them. Or even further, what they choose to post is none of your business." I know that. So I'm going to take some time away to figure it out.
I can't be away that long as many groups I'm part of rely on facebook to communicate, but I'm thinking a week or so. And I will miss plenty! I'm still an advocate for the connectedness that can come from this social network. How many times have I felt part of the outside world, even as a SAHM?... plenty! But like I said, this impulsive decision is prompted by the Boss in my life. I hope that God reveals to me what issues need fixing in my heart.
So, I just wanted to explain my little absence and take the opportunity to be real. It's not easy to admit that ugliness in my heart, but I'm sure I will grow in the right areas for showing my weakness. Love to you all and have a very blessed Easter, everyone.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Stuff my 6 yr. old says
Mom, does God know if I will love him when I grow up or not? Like, even before we were born did He know that me and our family would love Jesus?
Yeah, He does. Isn't that amazing?
Yeah. That's cool. I was gonna say that we should go to China to tell people about God, but I don't want to get in trouble with their police.
Well, if God tells you to go tell the people of China about Jesus, you need to obey Him even if we think it's dangerous.
That's right! Because He will protect us! Every day He will protect us and even if we get shot, He will lift us up and take us up to heaven.
Yeah, He does. Isn't that amazing?
Yeah. That's cool. I was gonna say that we should go to China to tell people about God, but I don't want to get in trouble with their police.
Well, if God tells you to go tell the people of China about Jesus, you need to obey Him even if we think it's dangerous.
That's right! Because He will protect us! Every day He will protect us and even if we get shot, He will lift us up and take us up to heaven.
((A little choppy, but I still love what he takes away. He understands that obeying God is worth any risk. Protection may look different from what our small minds think.))
And I'm not gonna lie; I immediately tear up when I hear his questions and wonder about our God. It reminds me of all we know and, maybe more importantly, all we don't know. What we aren't MEANT to know. It reminds me of the exact same thoughts I had as a child. Childlike faith coming back...
And I'm not gonna lie; I immediately tear up when I hear his questions and wonder about our God. It reminds me of all we know and, maybe more importantly, all we don't know. What we aren't MEANT to know. It reminds me of the exact same thoughts I had as a child. Childlike faith coming back...
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Two Reasons Why I Love Taking My Kids Out in Public
Sometimes five feels like a lot. Sometimes it feels like not so many. When I am flying solo, it almost definitely feels like a lot. Like I'm scampering around the house or wherever I am with my limbs working on four completely separate tasks all while herding my sweet little cats around. For this reason, I don't usually make a habit of stretching myself with the five out and about all alone (depending on what it is of course). I try to run errands "after mommy working hours" or while one or two or three are in school. But if Scott is with me, that's a whole different story. It's not even - we're still outnumbered, but being out as a family feels more manageable for sure.
That being said, I was reminded tonight of two reasons why I love taking my kids out in public - whether it be just 6 or all 7 of us. The first one is kind of superficial. The second is not.
We went out to dinner at a restaurant that was participating in the boys' school's fundraiser. Some of the teachers and staff were "waiters," and the boys loved seeing the familiar faces and jesting a bit about their new jobs. We decided to eat outside on the patio area (yes, in 63 degree weather). And seriously, the kids did fine. Sure, they chewed a few times with their mouths open, Carter got busted for standing on his chair, Levi dropped a fork, Gracie said boogers to someone visiting our table, Hayden yelled his portion of the conversation, and Noah had to be reminded a dozen times to turn around and eat; but really, they did fine. I wasn't concentrating on that though. I was too busy thinking about how we practice table manners every night at home for this very occasion. Home dinners are the dress rehearsals; eating at a restaurant is like showtime! So I noticed our practiced manners going out the window. Everyone else saw well-mannered, quiet, polite, and kind children who were doing a fantastic job eating in public! And they told us! Not to pat our own backs, but this happens quite often. I know my own expectations and most of the time the kids know them too: we practice things, walk through situations, prep them before. It seems to work, and they really do great! But too often I forget that they are just kids and they will screw up table manners and most other things along the way. Being in correction mode blinds me from their successes. Going out in public to eat with all these little guys is tough, but I love doing it since most of the time, some stranger pays them a compliment and I am reminded of the truth that my kids are awesome!! They are learning, and I am so proud of their effort. My main focus of parenting isn't behavior, but it does show a lot of what lies within. I am thankful for these complimenters who put my mind back to where it should be.
The second reason I love taking my kids out in public is you never know what they'll say or do! We do certain things and talk freely about topics in our own home, but maybe on the outside, people would be uncomfortable about it. The best thing about my kids is a) they aren't aware that this dichotomy exists and b) they wouldn't care even if they did. So tonight, sitting out on the restaurant patio right on a busy sidewalk, the kids insist on saying prayers - loudly. When we pray before a meal, it is seldom only one prayer. Our kids excitedly raise their hands and say, "Me! Me! Me!" We often end up bowing our heads three or four times. Well, we got through two prayers tonight and then it was Gracie's turn. She wanted to sing the Johnny Appleseed song prayer, "The Lord is good to me..." Already we are somewhat of a spectacle, but then we are all holding hands and singing a thanksgiving prayer before our meal - in public. I kid you not, there was a small crowd that stopped and peered around the corner. Wanting to spy but not wanting to disturb. I got a little shy since I saw them there, but the kids kept singing just as loud and proud as ever. Praise God that they are not shy about their love of God and their offering thanksgiving to Him. It excites me, humbles me, and gives me another bullet on my prayer list. Lord, please keep their hearts pure and free from insecurity. Help them to stay bold in their words and deeds that honor You and point others toward You.
My point tonight is: I'm so proud of them.
That being said, I was reminded tonight of two reasons why I love taking my kids out in public - whether it be just 6 or all 7 of us. The first one is kind of superficial. The second is not.
We went out to dinner at a restaurant that was participating in the boys' school's fundraiser. Some of the teachers and staff were "waiters," and the boys loved seeing the familiar faces and jesting a bit about their new jobs. We decided to eat outside on the patio area (yes, in 63 degree weather). And seriously, the kids did fine. Sure, they chewed a few times with their mouths open, Carter got busted for standing on his chair, Levi dropped a fork, Gracie said boogers to someone visiting our table, Hayden yelled his portion of the conversation, and Noah had to be reminded a dozen times to turn around and eat; but really, they did fine. I wasn't concentrating on that though. I was too busy thinking about how we practice table manners every night at home for this very occasion. Home dinners are the dress rehearsals; eating at a restaurant is like showtime! So I noticed our practiced manners going out the window. Everyone else saw well-mannered, quiet, polite, and kind children who were doing a fantastic job eating in public! And they told us! Not to pat our own backs, but this happens quite often. I know my own expectations and most of the time the kids know them too: we practice things, walk through situations, prep them before. It seems to work, and they really do great! But too often I forget that they are just kids and they will screw up table manners and most other things along the way. Being in correction mode blinds me from their successes. Going out in public to eat with all these little guys is tough, but I love doing it since most of the time, some stranger pays them a compliment and I am reminded of the truth that my kids are awesome!! They are learning, and I am so proud of their effort. My main focus of parenting isn't behavior, but it does show a lot of what lies within. I am thankful for these complimenters who put my mind back to where it should be.
The second reason I love taking my kids out in public is you never know what they'll say or do! We do certain things and talk freely about topics in our own home, but maybe on the outside, people would be uncomfortable about it. The best thing about my kids is a) they aren't aware that this dichotomy exists and b) they wouldn't care even if they did. So tonight, sitting out on the restaurant patio right on a busy sidewalk, the kids insist on saying prayers - loudly. When we pray before a meal, it is seldom only one prayer. Our kids excitedly raise their hands and say, "Me! Me! Me!" We often end up bowing our heads three or four times. Well, we got through two prayers tonight and then it was Gracie's turn. She wanted to sing the Johnny Appleseed song prayer, "The Lord is good to me..." Already we are somewhat of a spectacle, but then we are all holding hands and singing a thanksgiving prayer before our meal - in public. I kid you not, there was a small crowd that stopped and peered around the corner. Wanting to spy but not wanting to disturb. I got a little shy since I saw them there, but the kids kept singing just as loud and proud as ever. Praise God that they are not shy about their love of God and their offering thanksgiving to Him. It excites me, humbles me, and gives me another bullet on my prayer list. Lord, please keep their hearts pure and free from insecurity. Help them to stay bold in their words and deeds that honor You and point others toward You.
My point tonight is: I'm so proud of them.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Mission (being) Accomplished?
What is home all about? Or more specifically, what is your home all about? Is it about sports programs, play groups, academic achievements? Is it about family gatherings, vacation, Super Bowl parties, fitness, or clean eating? How about hanging out at the church a lot or community service? Whatever your activities or commitments, I'm not here to judge. Several of these would fall in our 'yes' pile. The point of me asking the question is to get you to consider what your family values. Your kids will catch on to what you care about and probably care about the same. Where do you put your time, money, and energy and what purpose does it serve?
Scott and I asked ourselves this question a few years ago. We know how quickly time flies by - this precious, formative time with our five little chicks under our roof - and we didn't want it to get the best of us. Who wants to wake up in 20 years with regret? No, we needed a plan. We needed goals to point us to the end as often as necessary, to remind us of our opportunities for the biggest impact. Scott met with a mentor friend and threw some ideas back and forth. The friend had the same thoughts for his own family and they had already gone through this process with great success.
So Scott and I sat down and created two things that are extremely important, in my opinion, for any family. Especially a family that wants to stay focused and tuned in to the whole point of parenting and life amidst the busyness and craziness of parenting and...life. We wrote out our top family values, then we put it into a fancier paragraph to create our family mission statement. (These wreak with our scholastic nerdy-ness because who doesn't love a good acronym!? Easy for all seven of us to remember!)
Here are our family values with the accompanying Bible verses that support why each is important to us:
((Love fully and in order))
Deut. 6:5
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Matthew 22:37-40
((be Educated, humble disciples))
I Peter 3:15
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect
Deut. 6:4-9
Prov. 4:2
I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.
((Abide in Jesus and with others))
John 15 (all but specifically this section)
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
Hebrews 10:25
not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Micah 6:8
He has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
((Do compassion passionately))
Matthew 25:40
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Colossians 3:23
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men
I John 3:18
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.
=
LEAD
Joshua 1:9 (Our family verse) Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Our family mission statement is this:
We will be a family that is defined by our LOVE for God first, others second, and ourselves last. We will be EDUCATED, humble disciples of Jesus who are always seeking His will in our lives. We will ABIDE personally in our relationship with Jesus, closely with our family, in our community of faith and in an influential way throughout our world. We will DO all things with a passion that is defined by our compassion for others in need and those God calls us to serve. We will boldly LEAD in the way that we follow Jesus and not be held back by the limitations or expectations of any person.
We love the tri-bond nature of the values, mission statement, and verse, one leading into the next and so on. I know this seems a little complicated (a friend of mine has a short, one sentence family mission statement), but the main part to communicate with the kids right now is what the L.E.A.D. stands for. They can learn the "why verses" later.
Scott and I really enjoyed this little homework assignment. We collaborated and discussed core desires we each brought to the table. We learned more of why each thinks certain things are really important. This is a personal assignment, watermarked by past experiences, lessons, character, and every family's will be entirely unique. TEAMWORK produces such an amazing feeling of growth and being cherished. And most importantly, as Scott (and I) lead the family and make decisions (about anything!), we have this to ask ourselves: does it naturally fit into our family values? Is it covered in our mission statement? We love that as our kids mature, they will be able to see and understand how and why Mom and Dad made the decisions we have. What our goal as a family is. What our home is about.
I wanted to encourage anyone out there to tackle this project for your own family. Especially in light of the current Bible study book I'm reading, Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, and the discussions that stem out of it. (This idea hasn't been addressed in the book, but it does talk about focus and the end goal and pairs very nicely.) I know how meaningful the mission statement has been for this home and hope that you can experience the same. And with all the artsy/crafty people out there, I'm sure amazingly beautiful representations of these values could start hanging on walls in homes everywhere. Here is how ours hangs:
Scott and I asked ourselves this question a few years ago. We know how quickly time flies by - this precious, formative time with our five little chicks under our roof - and we didn't want it to get the best of us. Who wants to wake up in 20 years with regret? No, we needed a plan. We needed goals to point us to the end as often as necessary, to remind us of our opportunities for the biggest impact. Scott met with a mentor friend and threw some ideas back and forth. The friend had the same thoughts for his own family and they had already gone through this process with great success.
So Scott and I sat down and created two things that are extremely important, in my opinion, for any family. Especially a family that wants to stay focused and tuned in to the whole point of parenting and life amidst the busyness and craziness of parenting and...life. We wrote out our top family values, then we put it into a fancier paragraph to create our family mission statement. (These wreak with our scholastic nerdy-ness because who doesn't love a good acronym!? Easy for all seven of us to remember!)
Here are our family values with the accompanying Bible verses that support why each is important to us:
((Love fully and in order))
Deut. 6:5
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Matthew 22:37-40
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
I John 4:7
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
((be Educated, humble disciples))
I Peter 3:15
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect
Deut. 6:4-9
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.
((Abide in Jesus and with others))
John 15 (all but specifically this section)
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
Hebrews 10:25
not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Micah 6:8
He has shown you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
((Do compassion passionately))
Matthew 25:40
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Colossians 3:23
And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men
I John 3:18
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.
=
LEAD
Joshua 1:9 (Our family verse) Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Our family mission statement is this:
We will be a family that is defined by our LOVE for God first, others second, and ourselves last. We will be EDUCATED, humble disciples of Jesus who are always seeking His will in our lives. We will ABIDE personally in our relationship with Jesus, closely with our family, in our community of faith and in an influential way throughout our world. We will DO all things with a passion that is defined by our compassion for others in need and those God calls us to serve. We will boldly LEAD in the way that we follow Jesus and not be held back by the limitations or expectations of any person.
We love the tri-bond nature of the values, mission statement, and verse, one leading into the next and so on. I know this seems a little complicated (a friend of mine has a short, one sentence family mission statement), but the main part to communicate with the kids right now is what the L.E.A.D. stands for. They can learn the "why verses" later.
Scott and I really enjoyed this little homework assignment. We collaborated and discussed core desires we each brought to the table. We learned more of why each thinks certain things are really important. This is a personal assignment, watermarked by past experiences, lessons, character, and every family's will be entirely unique. TEAMWORK produces such an amazing feeling of growth and being cherished. And most importantly, as Scott (and I) lead the family and make decisions (about anything!), we have this to ask ourselves: does it naturally fit into our family values? Is it covered in our mission statement? We love that as our kids mature, they will be able to see and understand how and why Mom and Dad made the decisions we have. What our goal as a family is. What our home is about.
I wanted to encourage anyone out there to tackle this project for your own family. Especially in light of the current Bible study book I'm reading, Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, and the discussions that stem out of it. (This idea hasn't been addressed in the book, but it does talk about focus and the end goal and pairs very nicely.) I know how meaningful the mission statement has been for this home and hope that you can experience the same. And with all the artsy/crafty people out there, I'm sure amazingly beautiful representations of these values could start hanging on walls in homes everywhere. Here is how ours hangs:
Sunday, March 3, 2013
My Own Joy Dare
When I was a young girl in school, the teachers would give each student a character trait award. A fancy piece of paper and my name being called as a good thing? That was definitely fun for me growing up! But more importantly, it was an opportunity for the teachers to share what good spiritual fruit they recognized in your life. I have no clue if my mom still has those papers somewhere, but I do remember this: I was awarded joyfulness at least a few years. May be I had a bubbly personality; may be I liked school so it was easy for me to be happy there; may be I had a wonderfully blessed childhood so it was easy for me to be joyful, period. A few years after leaving the school, I was speaking with one of my former teachers. We were reminiscing over all the fun times, and he shared an insight that I cherish - a key to this whole joy thing. He said, "You know why you were such a great student and stood out? It's because you had the best lookout on everything. You came in the first day of school and said, 'This is going to be the best year!' and then you made it happen. You chose to have a great time."
Fast forward to college. In my final two quarters of the education program, we were set up with student teaching assignments. Our master teacher would allow us to take over classroom responsibilities, teach subjects, and "play school" in order to prep us for the real world. In the course that partnered with it, we were given tips, guidelines, and feedback for our student teaching experience. One rule our professor had has stuck with me for seven years and counting. She basically said, "When you show up to school or work and someone asks 'How are you?', you are never to say anything about being tired. We're probably all tired! Many people say it without a real consideration so the start of their day has begun with a complaint. I don't care if you are incredibly tired. This is your chance to learn how to be a professional and positive, so think of another thing to say." Believe it or not, it was a real challenge to stop myself from saying exactly what I shouldn't. SUCH a good exercise! I carried that practice into my teaching career, but as my life evolved and my profession shifted, I have fallen away from that good habit.
So how do these two stories relate? It's about choosing a response. I don't want to be known as a complainer. Joy is about choosing an attitude of gratitude no matter what is going on around you or with you. I've taken some time as an adult to study and understand this character trait especially. And I think anyone with two brain cells can assume I'm tired. Five kids or one. I doubt the number of kids makes much of a difference. I don't need to have that as the first thing out of my mouth. My mom used to say, "I'm a mom. I'll be tired for the rest of my life!" I'm confident she's right, but that doesn't mean we all need to talk about it and commiserate! ;) Dare to choose a different response to the question, "How are you?" Of course this doesn't mean you can't be honest. Last week, I was having a wretched time with one kid's health including a full day at Kaiser. I could honestly say, "No, I'm not doing very well..." This response differs from the off-the-cuff-I'm-tired though. The first naturally leads into a prayer request conversation. The latter is just a short complaint and doesn't necessary lead anywhere.
Several months back, a facebook friend posted a beautiful picture with the caption, "Today is a good day simply because God made it." I don't remember what she said about it, but whatever it was, it convicted me. When was the last time I said I had a good day? Not even based on my circumstances but because I was alive and I recognized that God is good!? I was a complainer! I wasn't having that "great time" simply because I forgot I had a say in the matter. I forgot to make the better choice. Whether it was reporting back only the negative dealings with the kids at the end of the day or describing our busyness or back to the "I'm tired..." response, there was not much of or any grateful attitude shining through!
So I asked myself, "What happened to the girl who was widely known for her joyful spirit? She is caught up with all the negative. She is forgetting the power of perspective." Therefore, I'm back to the professor's rule. I am going to try to choose a more joyful response in my heart and out of my mouth. You have full permission to call me out if you ask me how I'm doing and I respond FIRST with a complaint - especially telling you that I'm tired!
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.
Luke 6:45
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Why do you love me?
I've said it before, but I don't know if I've ever blogged it. So I'll say it now.
I have never grown more in my relationship with God than when I became a parent.
There is more I understand and can relate to: just as I desire our kids to trust and obey, choose love, and yes, even love discipline itself, I imagine our Heavenly Father desires the same from us. Simple truths of this relational model come out at various times, and they are - by far - my most personal and teachable moments.
The best, bare bones truth revealed itself tonight, and I was flooded with a desire to share it. I was finishing up a simple yet effective discussion with Noah about his poor attitude this evening. I, myself, was in a funk also because I was tolerating the hints of disobedience and disrespect instead of slamming on the brakes when I first saw him slipping. I recognized that I needed to stop and address things. After I pointed out some of the problems, he broke down crying and lunged at me for a repentant hug. He had felt the dissonance too but didn't know how to pull himself out. I had to sit him down and point out his sin. (Has God had to do this with me? Absolutely! And I haven't even gotten to the good part yet!) Putting a new lesson about truly forgiving the kids' daily offenses and moving on into practice, I said three things to him:
I forgive you.
It's over and done.
We are right again.
I felt released. He felt released. More hugs and mommy thoughts like, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe this kiddo is 6 years old already. I'm so glad he still fits all curled up in my lap; I know this won't last too much longer!!" Then I said, "I love you." Without any pause or consideration he replied, "I love you too." The quick response spurred me to ask a question.
Why do you love me?
He answered, "Because Jesus loves you." I had every intention of reciprocating the question so I could claim his identity and reassure him of all that yummy love stuff. But I couldn't. I literally opened my mouth and just the start of a squeak came out. Then a moment later after thinking about it I said, "Wow. I really like that answer."
To sum up Noah's part of the story, I want to note that he was a huge delight for the rest of the evening. He was back to his quick and obedient, "Yes, mom! Whatever you say!" bits and cooperative spirit. I learned a lesson about taking a time out to really discuss downhill behavior as a means of stopping it.
But my bigger lesson was hearing why my son loves me. It wasn't the typical "because you're my mommy!" or "because you make me peanut butter and jelly." It was the most honest answer that I think we forget so often.
Why do you love me?
- Because Jesus loves you. And if Jesus loves you, I should love you too.
So if Jesus loves me it means I am worthy of love.
I John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
That's the most fundamental reason we should love anybody. He loved us first, so we not only should love others as a response to His love but also because they are loved by Him and worthy of love.
You are worthy of love.
And I love that my Noahbear reminded me of that tonight.
I have never grown more in my relationship with God than when I became a parent.
There is more I understand and can relate to: just as I desire our kids to trust and obey, choose love, and yes, even love discipline itself, I imagine our Heavenly Father desires the same from us. Simple truths of this relational model come out at various times, and they are - by far - my most personal and teachable moments.
The best, bare bones truth revealed itself tonight, and I was flooded with a desire to share it. I was finishing up a simple yet effective discussion with Noah about his poor attitude this evening. I, myself, was in a funk also because I was tolerating the hints of disobedience and disrespect instead of slamming on the brakes when I first saw him slipping. I recognized that I needed to stop and address things. After I pointed out some of the problems, he broke down crying and lunged at me for a repentant hug. He had felt the dissonance too but didn't know how to pull himself out. I had to sit him down and point out his sin. (Has God had to do this with me? Absolutely! And I haven't even gotten to the good part yet!) Putting a new lesson about truly forgiving the kids' daily offenses and moving on into practice, I said three things to him:
I forgive you.
It's over and done.
We are right again.
I felt released. He felt released. More hugs and mommy thoughts like, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe this kiddo is 6 years old already. I'm so glad he still fits all curled up in my lap; I know this won't last too much longer!!" Then I said, "I love you." Without any pause or consideration he replied, "I love you too." The quick response spurred me to ask a question.
Why do you love me?
He answered, "Because Jesus loves you." I had every intention of reciprocating the question so I could claim his identity and reassure him of all that yummy love stuff. But I couldn't. I literally opened my mouth and just the start of a squeak came out. Then a moment later after thinking about it I said, "Wow. I really like that answer."
To sum up Noah's part of the story, I want to note that he was a huge delight for the rest of the evening. He was back to his quick and obedient, "Yes, mom! Whatever you say!" bits and cooperative spirit. I learned a lesson about taking a time out to really discuss downhill behavior as a means of stopping it.
But my bigger lesson was hearing why my son loves me. It wasn't the typical "because you're my mommy!" or "because you make me peanut butter and jelly." It was the most honest answer that I think we forget so often.
Why do you love me?
- Because Jesus loves you. And if Jesus loves you, I should love you too.
So if Jesus loves me it means I am worthy of love.
I John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.
That's the most fundamental reason we should love anybody. He loved us first, so we not only should love others as a response to His love but also because they are loved by Him and worthy of love.
You are worthy of love.
And I love that my Noahbear reminded me of that tonight.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Why I blog
Where was I in January and February? Good question! Darned if I know. All I can say is I reeeeally did miss putting my thoughts and memories on the page. I read something the other day that perfectly pinpointed why I blog. It's not just to add an expectation for myself or to prove that I still have a (somewhat) functioning brain. Here is what Lysa TerKeurst, one of my favorite wise ladies, wrote:
Not everyone will be published but having your thoughts, life lessons, and creative stories captured in a place outside your mind is good. I would treasure one page of wisdom written by my great grandmother. But all her words died with her. And that makes me sad.
So, if you feel inspired to write- write.
If not a whole book, one page.
If not a whole page, one sentence.
I write so it's out there and doesn't get lost in the constant shuffle mode that are my thoughts. That being said, I'm also going to start blogging some things for our church's women's ministry. Woohoo! Fun way to be stretched, for sure.
One issue that kept me from typing away is that so many of my posts have accompanying pictures. There's some weird hiccup in the "put a pic in your blog post" world. They say I have maxed out and are asking me to pay for more storage. I don't understand how this can really be true, so I've been frozen for awhile.
Beyond that, the months have been busy. Cleaning up Christmas, dealing with stubborn sicknesses, enjoying a girls' weekend away, school program, Valentine's Day stuff, a birthday retreat for the husband and me, church events, meetings, family fun, more sickness: all wrapped up inside the "normal" routine. Yes, my favorite end-of-the-day choice has been vegging with Scott in front of the DVR.
And as I write this, I know that life will always be throwing its curveballs and extras. March and April might look even more packed! So the difference now, I guess, is that I miss it too much. I have a loooong list of things I've wanted to write about. And Lysa, my new bff (lol), told me to WRITE!
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