At the moment, I feel this way quite literally - sick and tired. My nose is running, my ears are plugged as if I'm heading towards an ear infection, my throat is scratchy and a cough is looming around the corner... And I'm just plain exhausted. I don't sleep well when I have symptoms like these - even if I have a miraculous opening in my day that should be set aside for a nap, it does me no good. I've been living with sickies on my hands for over a week now. I should've known it was just a matter of time before my immune system would be defeated. But my health is not the primary reason for me blogging this evening.
I would like to use the phrase the way I'm used to hearing it... I'm
already sick and tired of people warning me of the "terrible twos". Don't people know that this "phase" that some psychologist first came up with is just an excuse for bad parenting? "Oh let's coin a term that excuses my child's unruly behavior and tantrum-throwing and sour attitude, so I, as the parent, can't be held responsible. It's not my fault - our little guy is just in the terrible twos. Or he's already or still there..." Um, actually it IS your fault because your child learns from you what is acceptable and what is not.
When this time approaches, it is nothing more than children testing the boundaries set up by their parents. They are figuring out where their dependence ends and independence begins. So the easy answer is be firm in those boundaries. Consistency is key. If you waiver on them, your poor child is going to be confused because yesterday he got away with it and today mom is blowing a gasket. He doesn't know when you actually mean business, so HE will be the one who is consistent! - - at trying to figure you out! If you are steady, your children will know your expectations, the discipline that awaits them if they overstep any boundaries, and the reward if they choose to obey. I once heard amazing parenting advice from a well-known pastor and author. He said that parents should never want independence for their children. (I'm not talking about tying their own shoes or anything - I'm talking about having an independent and unsubmissive spirit...) The job of a godly parent is not to transfer your child's dependence on you to independence as an adult. A godly parent's job is to transfer his or her dependence on you to dependence on God! When they are testing the waters and yearning for that independence, remind them who is the Boss of all! (And by the way, I may seem like Mrs. Disciplinarian here, but I've just got a fire in my belly about this... Trust me, I LOVE my children. But the Good Book says that we HATE our children if we don't discipline them! So I take all of this very seriously!)
Therefore, if you have a warped understanding of this phase in a child's life, I'm warning you... Don't you
dare talk to me about the terrible twos or you will get an earful. I don't know about you, but I plan to be as consistent as possible, thus enjoying the "terrific twos" when my children have been and continue to be trained in godly obedience and discipline.
Join me in the minority, won't you?
