I'm here for a real life.

I'm here for a real life.  Real problems, real ruts, real joys, real victories.  

Personally, I don't understand why people try to hide behind a facade.  Pretending you are someone you're not or portraying yourself in a way that doesn't invite honest, real relationships makes me so sad.  You elevate yourself to an unapproachable position.  Who would want to even attempt to get close to someone so flawless (even if others know that you're not)?  There would be no depth to the relationship.  It might be painful to air out some dirty laundry, but how much more painful is it to live in solitude without any of your friends knowing the real you?  Think about what you might be missing by "saving face": how about rich friendships that you can rely on when you need emotional help, rear guard warriors to pray for you through your current battles, an honest answer when you need to be called out on your crap, having a godly influence and encouraging someone else, being around people who sharpen you and inspire you to live the way God desires instead of fluff and telling you what the selfish you wants to hear.

We all know that people have junk.  We all know that you don't have it all together all the time.  You know why?  Because that's just life.  Life is messy and broken, and the only wholeness comes from a life lived through Jesus, by His power, grace, and love.  But even with Jesus, our life is not all ducky.  He promised us that we'd have trouble.  Woohoo!  Now it's out in the open!  No false pretenses!  The verse in John 16 goes on to say that we are to take heart since Jesus has overcome the world.  The trouble will not always be with us.  And in the meantime, we have Him.  So why pretend?  I don't want to waste my time on this earth.  I'm here for a real life.  I'm here to grow and get closer to Him, one relationship at a time.

I am blessed to be part of some amazing relationships.  Not bragging.  But I do want to inspire you to find some authentic friendships that will change you for the better.  I want to tell these girls how thankful I am for them, for their willingness to be transparent with me.  For urging me to keep growing in the areas I've been working on, for trusting me with their deep, dark "stuff", just as I trust them with mine.  One of these friends and I had a loooong anticipated date last weekend.  We had a whole lot to catch up on.  I was updating her on a struggle of mine, and she bluntly commented, "Well, that's just forgiveness."  She was right, of course.  A blow to my stomach.  A blow to my pride.  But so very needed.  I needed her to call me out on my unforgiveness.  To call it what it was.  To not let it go unsaid, that I was holding on to a sin.  She declared that for me because she loves me.  I'm willing to risk a lot of transparency with an honest friend like that, who has my best interest at heart.  She wasn't going to pass over the topic and validate my wrong.  *Sigh*  I can't tell you what a gift that kind of friendship is.  

That conversation happened with a particular friend, but I have a cluster of girls that could have spoken those words.  These are the girls I keep returning to!  These are the friends I crave time with!  I keep wanting to be real; the more real I am, the more I'm becoming the me I want to be.  I want to be the no B.S. girl who doesn't waste His plan for community.  

Jesus wasn't about B.S. either.  (Excuse my crassness.)  One of the things the Lord has been teaching me for the last year and a half is not to dwell - or even care - when I don't end up pleasing everyone.  Unintentionally I end up offending, hurting, or disappointing people around me because of the expectations they've placed on me.  Most of the time these expectations haven't even been communicated, but somehow it comes out that they're there.  I really struggled with wanting people to like me and figuring out how to keep everyone happy.  A brilliant friend (Yep, one of those girls again!) empathized and said she had struggled with the same issue, but she had found freedom when she learned from Jesus how to think.  She said, "Jesus offended a ton of people, because He was different and set apart.  He was honest and didn't beat around the bush.  So now I think, 'If I'm following Jesus, I will end up offending people.  If I'm super nice and people can't think of any negative things to say about me, well then I'm probably doing something wrong.  I won't be able to please everyone and Jesus at the same time.  I want to live an eccentric life that blesses Him, not be worried about others' approval.'"  Isn't that a beautiful message from one transparent friend to another?  Those words wouldn't be ringing in my head and carrying me through my journey if I hadn't chosen to talk about it or she hadn't been willing to share her story either. 

I know I've gotten a little off course, so I'll wrap up with a final plea.  Be vulnerable in your relationships and find friends that are willing to be equally transparent.  You both will be blessed by the depth of love and support that comes from the friendship.  
  
One of my favorite Christian author/speakers is Lysa TerKeurst.  This morning on facebook she posted the following:  Say "thank you" to the Lord for all of the friendships and relationships that He has placed in your life.  Philippians 1:3-5, "I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the the gospel from the first day until now."

Thank you, girlies, for the amazing gift you are in my "real" life. xoxo   



Some more great friendship verses:

Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Proverbs 12:26
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.